How the Right Support Changed My Life

Pictured above: Louise Storie, Head of Connect at The Donaldson Trust, and Lucy.

Going through primary and secondary school as a neurodivergent girl was never easy for me. I was diagnosed with autism when I was 8 years old, which is very young for a girl. At the time, I never really understood what it meant. Growing up, I constantly worried that people wouldn’t see me for who I was and would only see my diagnosis. My parents hoped the diagnosis would help me get the support I needed at school, but that wasn’t the case.

I was constantly bullied throughout primary school.  My classmates saw me as the shy, quiet girl who wouldn’t stand up for herself. Teachers told them to stop, but nothing changed. It was relentless, and it felt never-ending.

Every day, I dreaded going into school and tried to convince my parents to let me stay home. After my diagnosis, nothing changed at school. Teachers didn’t think I needed support because, on the surface, I seemed fine. They only saw a quiet, academic girl, but because of this it felt like my diagnosis had been ignored. I kept wondering when school would get better, but it never did.

I always hoped secondary school would be the fresh start I needed – that things would finally improve. However, my transition happened during COVID, so I didn’t get support I needed. While I was nervous about starting secondary school, I was also excited hoping things would improve when I got a new group of friends. At first, things went well. I had some new friends, and I loved how much more academic it was. But then, things started going downhill.

Teachers tried to support me, but they didn’t really know how. They offered support that worked for other neurodivergent students, but it wasn’t what I needed. What I really needed then was someone that understood me – someone I could talk to.

Soon after starting secondary school, the bullying started again. Each day was exhausting, and I constantly worried about what might happen next. I was moved to different classes multiple times because I couldn’t bear being around the people who were bullying me. As the bullying got worse, so did my anxiety about going to school. Throughout my school years, I felt excluded – not just from friends but by the teachers too. Eventually, I couldn’t go back.

I spent the next year out of school, and during that time, I felt very isolated. I had no friends and felt worthless, like my life was never going to improve. Each day felt repetitive – I barely left the house. I felt forced to visit other secondary schools and education placements because I was told it was what was best for me. But I couldn’t understand why nobody seemed to consider what I wanted or how I felt. The whole process was stressful, I knew I couldn’t face going to another school. That year was the loneliest. As a 13-year-old girl all I wanted was a good friend.

I was at my lowest point, I had no confidence, no self-belief, and no plans for my future. But then I got my place at Vibe. This was a huge step for me. I had never accepted my diagnosis, and now I was joining a service for neurodivergent young people.

Being at Vibe has given me a sense of belonging. I know I have people I can talk to who will support me. Vibe gives me a reason to get up in the morning – something that that means so much to me. I’m surrounded by others who understand me, and I no longer feel isolated.

During my time in Vibe, I met Louise Storie. We have worked together a lot, through sharing her knowledge and understanding she has given me the confidence I needed to accept myself. Louise has given me a lot of advice to help me manage my stress and anxiety, which helped me so much. But more than anything, she helped me to believe in myself, offering the support and encouragement I always needed.

Having someone to talk to – someone who truly knows how to support me, listens without any judgement, and encourages me to be myself – has been such a huge part of my journey. Looking back on my education, I genuinely believe that the support I needed was as simple as having someone who would take the time to get to know me Someone, I could trust enough to share how I was feeling. 

I believe every young person facing struggles at school deserves to have someone they can turn to, who listens, understands, and offers the support they need.

I am a completely different person now. Over the past year as I’ve gotten to know myself better, I no longer identify as being autistic but instead as having ADHD and RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). Looking back, this makes so much more sense, it explains why I felt the way I did for so long.

If someone had told 13-year-old me that I am now preparing for exams and planning to study Psychology at university, she would never have believed it. But thanks to the support and confidence I’ve gained at Vibe, I now see a future for myself – one that I’m so excited about. I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me!